[no] me encanta.

(I started taking a picture for each blog so you can see what I look like right now and so I can be honest with you all about the state of my hair sometimes... hahaha) I hate to admit this, because I don't want to buy into it, but let's be real with ourselves, McDonald's is quite possibly the best/most useful + company/service out there. I have been to McDonalds about 100 times more frequently here than I have in the US, basically because I hardly ever go in the US. Why? Because it's disgusting. It's straight up nast. Like, I might go for an iced tea in the summa, but it is like "legit I only have $1.05 in my life right now so I'm forced to go to McD" status as far as I'm concerned. If you're gonna get a salad, let's be real: you go somewhere where they make salads. And their chicken sucks, which as we all know is my preferred meal anyways, so moral: I normally don't actually like McDonalds.

Let's just go with the stats: so far here, twice I have spent quite a cantidad of time at McD, both nights which ended up being waaaay fun. Once, I stayed there from like 12? to literally 6 in the morning. And there were SO MANY PEOPLE THERE!! It was awesome. You know why? Because it's 1)super chill 2)super cheap 3)recognizable 4)predictable (except when they're out of stuff, like nuggets...) 5)and no one is ever going to be like, excuse me, ma'am, you seem to have finished your burger. please step aside so someone else can sit there and eat theirs.

also to prove the superiority, I went tonight for a cup of coffee (because it's 5.50 pesos, compared to 8 pesos+ elsewhere and it's like 2x the size... also half the taste, but I don't care. also apparently I'm into math today...) and I took my computer to write a little informe, and big shock: they have wireless. Like perfect wireless. Which I don't even have at my house. I mean I have wireless but it cuts out and sucks much of the time. Entonces. Como me encanta McDonalds, aunque es el diablo de empresas. How I love McD, though it is the devil of businesses. Hurts so good, right?

Also, I am going to be buying my weight in jewelry soon. I stopped at a store today, I just want to take a picture. It has 3 walls lined with jewelry. I bought like 5 things. And I'm going back. I wanted to stop and touch every single thing. Which I sort of did... I am like a little girl, but oh my gosh. So much sparkle. Soooo many beads. This is a throwback to my childhood and how I loved making crafts. I love spring!!

And sidenote today was mother's day. I bought my host mom a book, because she loves to read. and I love to read. So let's read. That's about how much I care. It's just weird, because she's NOT my mom, but I do appreciate her. Hence the book.

K. I'm going to try and do, whatever it was I was supposed to do... haha basically a lot!

-"Remember, world peace!" -quote from sergio text. I don't understand either.
Emily

real life.

you know how everyone has a smell? when i walk into my room, i smell me. and it smells good. i hope it doesn't smell bad to other people. HAHAHAHA

i also just finished one of the hardest 24-stretches of my life. it's so true that one day you are on top of the world and the next literally you can be wiped out on your back, but it's okay. i got up. and apparently, i smell good. haha

sometimes blogs are random. just keepin' it real.

Keep it real.

6 octubre 2009
soooo. I was thinking. (figure 1: me right now, so it's like we're talking.) Today i got really embarrassed during class because i couldn’t explain an idea i had, and i hadn’t prepared it before i said it, i just started talking WHICH I NEVER DO! And it turned out that the prof. Didn’t follow. And oddly enough, unlike EVERY OTHER experience like this in my life, my impulse wasn’t to freak out and be embarrassed. I did that a few minutes later of course because i’ve taught myself to do that! But it was kina of wonderful on many levels: 1. I saw that there is a tiny place inside me that says it’s okay to mess up, don’t get bogged down by it, 2. I practiced speaking spanish in front of a group and a native, which is ALWAYS scary for me, and 3. I MESSED IT UP, WHICH IS GREAT. I’ve decided i have to do this more often. I absolutely HAVE to mess up more. This is why i really don’t like to talk in class at all, which has been difficult in honor scholar classes where the nature of it is to discuss and not have everything figured out beforehand. So i really hope this is a step in the right direction: being wrong and being okay with it. I am so absolutely terrified of ever saying any remotely insignificant thing wrong because i immediately get uuuuber embarrassed and want to go crawl in a hole and cry. But i have to TRY more. And that’s much more important. I can’t spend my whole life crying because i said “la día” instead of “el día”, which is day 1 spanish but i STILL do that. I think that it’s okay to be wrong, just as long as you know you are wrong! Haha and understand how to fix it. I’m not suggesting it’s good that i’m making errors, but that it IS good for me to make them and recognize them as such. THE ONLY WAY TO LEARN, FRIENDS. I’m so used to getting 20/20 on all my assignments from elementary and middle school (and to some extent high school… before the academy, let’s be real) that i still haven’t gotten over the whole “missing one point=death.” Because really, i’m no where near being a 19/20 on speaking spanish, so let’s be honest with ourselves: we need to set more realistic goals here.
So here’s the goal: if i’m not embarrassed at least 3 times a day, i’m not trying hard enough. Think about that for whatever you’re trying to make happen but just isn’t going right, because that’s exactly where you need to be! If it’s not really complicated, why do it???
Also, goal 2: if i could go 1 day without random men making comments about me on the street, that would be a good day. But maybe i should just stick to realistic goals… or this could fall under the being embarrassed category!! such is south america i guess.
Keep it real.
Emily

Quick thought.

I feel like I might have turned into a bit of a yuppie because I really like taking cabs now. It cuts out the thinking process, trying to find a bus stop, waiting for the bus, having change for the bus, and the subway doesn't run after 1030 at night, but let's be honest: I take cabs during the day. I also do this because I have this deeply ingrained fear of being late, most likely with origins in middle school where it was sacrilege to step in the door after THE BELL rang. Middle school is pretty much the root of all my problems! haha but I don't like to be late.

soooo here's the thing about taking cabs: it's not that expensive here, and you ALWAYS meet someone interesting. okay, not like "meet" and exchange numbers (WEIRD) but talking to a person for 5, 10, 15 minutes and only that gives you a remarkably large perspective into their life. It's catching them at the most banal moments, during their job. So lots of them like to talk to you. One guy (on my way to see King Lear, which was amazing!) told me he had been married to a lady from the US, but she left and went back. His point was that he likes Americans. EXIT TAXI. I had a really great conversation with another guy (on my way to class... that's really lame, but I was late!) who told me about his son who was my age and going to the same university as me, etc. Stuff always comes up about how we like Buenos Aires, and sometimes they are enthusiastic and sometimes they think it's such a fast pace of life. (after I tell them I'm from the country haha) Which I can understand, because they are constantly encountered with people in a hurry, but really, they never are going anywhere! Just being dictated by other people.

But before I recount every taxi driver I've had (which would be embarrassing because it's a lot haha), I have to cronicle this man from today. I was on my way to get my visa (for being a temporary resident here instead of just a tourist=baller), and this man was just a kick. He asked me what I was studying, and I told him castellano (what they call spanish...) and history and his response was "mentiras." lies. and I was like, no, that is actually what I am studying... and he went on to say, no, history is nothing but lies. And I didn't really know what to say, because I am assuming he doesn't think WWII never happened... so in my horrible spanish I said something like, well, it's always a construction of the truth, but ultimately something did happen a certain way. And he went on to tell me that 80% of what children learn in school is lies. I'm assuming he meant concerning history, because otherwise we'd be really confused about our lives.

And I don't really have a conclusion here, but if "history is just one thing after another" (thank you history boys-movie) it's very difinitive in it's own right. We just mess it up.

Well. more on this later. Then cabby asked me about Obama. Oh gosh. I told him that I think he was the best candidate for the job and I don't support him blindly, but with everything there is to deal with at the moment I can't say he's doing a poor job. Cabby approved. Then he said something about Bush, and we arrived at destination.

So maybe taking cabs isn't such a bad thing. I might have to keep experimenting...

dang it.

This is going to be short, but I have to document this day because I finally broke down and joined a gym... and I went tonight, and oh my gosh. there were like 30 men who all knew each other and were chatting with the trainer, and it was like I walked in the navy seal training center hahaha. the machines are old and extremely no frills. this is the basic, you do 5,000 push-ups every morning and eat egg whites kind of deal. maybe not, but it felt like it!! there were 2 little tvs with soccer on, and the machines are in kilograms so i have to figure out weights... oops. good news is they offer classes, so i can go to those, but i'm kind of scared of that too because it's not like i will magically get into shape just because i'm being instructed haha. sooooo. i paid for it so i have to go, right?

also, iguazu was so baller. i should go into more detail on that, but i have a paper to write haha on the way back in the bus we got stopped 3 times by patrol people and once a dog sniffed for drugs. that was kind of different. the dog looked like midnight! haha and was really uninterested in looking for drugs. kind of a slow mover... has nothing to do with the falls haha. also, i saw tat yesterday! and we were supposed to hang out today after my class, but he never called=bad move. and that is really not relevant to the blog, it's just in general i don't understand why guys do that/why it is such a hard concept to grasp. it's like not a big deal apparently, but it's really annoying. if you're a man, take note!! and if you're a girl, please back me up on this haha okay not all the time i'm not a hater, but let's be real. more than necessary. communication, caballeros.

it's starting to get warm thank goodness. i hope this lifts my spirits! i love warm weather. so pleasant. okay. peace.
emily

...wait, what?

this is really not pensive, but i just have to include here that i saw a mom helping her maybe 3-year old son pee on the sidewalk today. like it was off to the side... but i really just can't get over that HAHAHA like really??? you are probably less than 100 feet from at least 3 bathrooms! like, we do that in the country, but really?? that poor child. he's gonna go to school and pee in the middle of class and be like, what? hahaha it's like ridiculously hilarious as well as extremely odd... and i can't get over it!

on a less disturbing note, this weekend i am going out of town to iguazu falls, which i really have no idea what it's going to be like except there are going to be a lot of beautiful waterfalls haha. we're leaving thursday night, taking an 18-hour bus ride (really. that's nuts!) and will arrive on thursday. i am going with 2 guys and 3 other girls, the "americans" if you will, and we hang out all the time so i'm really glad we're all going together. it will be tons of fun. i'll try to actually take pictures, something i have neglected doing so far... but yeah. then we'll get back on sunday i think and hopefully more relaxed and maybe even a little tanner : )

also, i saw tat today. haha very briefly because mondays are crazy for me, but yeah. what do i say. he's still sweet : ) he's going 5 hours outside of the city tomorrow to see his fútbol team play... psycho. these people don't mess around.

also! i got to go through some flyers/posters for events put on by the madres (or other human rights organizations around the world) at my pasantía (internship) and it was really impressive. if you like history the place i work is the proverbial pot of gold, so i'm really enjoying it.

chau, amores!!
emily

Okay, so. I'm having a thought. A mix of my experiences/things i am reading have spurred this, of which i will explain... I have been considering the structure of my life in the US and what I am used to; basically my vocation (calling if you will) has always been student, so therefore i go to class, study, and am evaluated on my academic performances. however class and studying time doesn't take up all my time; obviously i am used to an enormous amount of leisure time, during which i watch movies/tv, talk with friends, go to the theatre, go out to eat, etc.

so i was just thinking what my life would be like if i didn't have leisure time. i'm sure meg/alana would have more insight into this than me based on classes with mac, but what would it be like to honestly only have time for work?? to not have the money to go to a café and get coffee and medialunas (croissants). to NEVER go out to eat. make your own jelly. not have a microwave. not have a coffee machine. all these things seem so basic and obvious. in college, EVERYONE has a digital camera. EVERYONE has a laptop. why wouldn't we have all these other things??

sorry if i'm not explaining myself, this obviously isn't super organized, but it's something to consider. for example, i am reading a book called "boquitas pintadas" for my program spanish class, and i really hate the format but it has some good stuff in it haha the author goes through each main character and describes what they do on the same day, and it's really interesting. an upper-class female character wakes up leisurely, has coffee and toast with butter, doesn't work, and goes to the theatre with her mom that night. another male character is woken up by his mother (laaame) and is served breakfast in bed while complaining the food isn't warm enough the whole time, and he doesn't work either. another male character doesn't even have an alarm but wakes up really early because he works construction, and he can't even find any bread in his house so he goes without breakfast. and there's more, but just comparing the structure of their lives, down to what they eat, what time they get up, whether or not they work, it really affected me thinking about what my own "normal" was.

aaaand, of course to parallel this, i actually could apply it to tat! haha i get really frustrated because he ALWAYS tells me he has to work and i feel like he can never hang out. i started to worry that he was brushing me off, because if a guy keeps saying, oh i can't meet today oh i can't meet today you start to think oh my gosh he might not want to see me. but on tuesday i think it was he of course said he had to work, but this time he invited me to come have dinner at his restaurant so we could still see each other. so i went and he served me, which was precious of course. and watching him work, i realized, oh my gosh, this guy works really hard. he was running around trying to make sure everyone was happy, trying to talk to me when he could, and i don't know. it just hit me that, wow, he really does just work a lot. i just have so much free time i don't know what it's like to have his life.

i always feel bad when i have to tell people i can't do stuff because i feel like i have to do homework or whatever, but this poor guy has no choice! it's just really made me think, i should be committing myself to MY work with the same dedication. of course i'm still going to see movies/go to shows/restaurants because i love it and i have the ability to do so, but i almost wish i wasn't so spoiled because then working more would be natural.

back to reading! this has been a long break...
emily