Okay, so. I'm having a thought. A mix of my experiences/things i am reading have spurred this, of which i will explain... I have been considering the structure of my life in the US and what I am used to; basically my vocation (calling if you will) has always been student, so therefore i go to class, study, and am evaluated on my academic performances. however class and studying time doesn't take up all my time; obviously i am used to an enormous amount of leisure time, during which i watch movies/tv, talk with friends, go to the theatre, go out to eat, etc.

so i was just thinking what my life would be like if i didn't have leisure time. i'm sure meg/alana would have more insight into this than me based on classes with mac, but what would it be like to honestly only have time for work?? to not have the money to go to a café and get coffee and medialunas (croissants). to NEVER go out to eat. make your own jelly. not have a microwave. not have a coffee machine. all these things seem so basic and obvious. in college, EVERYONE has a digital camera. EVERYONE has a laptop. why wouldn't we have all these other things??

sorry if i'm not explaining myself, this obviously isn't super organized, but it's something to consider. for example, i am reading a book called "boquitas pintadas" for my program spanish class, and i really hate the format but it has some good stuff in it haha the author goes through each main character and describes what they do on the same day, and it's really interesting. an upper-class female character wakes up leisurely, has coffee and toast with butter, doesn't work, and goes to the theatre with her mom that night. another male character is woken up by his mother (laaame) and is served breakfast in bed while complaining the food isn't warm enough the whole time, and he doesn't work either. another male character doesn't even have an alarm but wakes up really early because he works construction, and he can't even find any bread in his house so he goes without breakfast. and there's more, but just comparing the structure of their lives, down to what they eat, what time they get up, whether or not they work, it really affected me thinking about what my own "normal" was.

aaaand, of course to parallel this, i actually could apply it to tat! haha i get really frustrated because he ALWAYS tells me he has to work and i feel like he can never hang out. i started to worry that he was brushing me off, because if a guy keeps saying, oh i can't meet today oh i can't meet today you start to think oh my gosh he might not want to see me. but on tuesday i think it was he of course said he had to work, but this time he invited me to come have dinner at his restaurant so we could still see each other. so i went and he served me, which was precious of course. and watching him work, i realized, oh my gosh, this guy works really hard. he was running around trying to make sure everyone was happy, trying to talk to me when he could, and i don't know. it just hit me that, wow, he really does just work a lot. i just have so much free time i don't know what it's like to have his life.

i always feel bad when i have to tell people i can't do stuff because i feel like i have to do homework or whatever, but this poor guy has no choice! it's just really made me think, i should be committing myself to MY work with the same dedication. of course i'm still going to see movies/go to shows/restaurants because i love it and i have the ability to do so, but i almost wish i wasn't so spoiled because then working more would be natural.

back to reading! this has been a long break...
emily